A Spooky Night In Disney's Haunted Mansion
by Scott Space Ace Oliverson
(This story is based on a re-released audiocassette I own from the actual DisneyLand attraction in New Orleans Square but I am writing the story from the Liberty Square attraction in Walt Disney World)
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A HAUNTED MANSION? YOU KNOW THE KIND I MEAN...THAT OLD DARK HOUSE THAT'S USUALLY AT THE END OF A DIMLY LIT STREET. THE OWNERS HAVEN'T BEEN SEEN FOR YEARS NO ONE REALLY KNOWS WHY? THE WINDOWS ARE BROKEN AND BOARDED AND THE SHUTTERS HANG LOOSE ON THEIR HINGES. THE TREES ARE GROWN WILD, THEIR BRANCHES BRUSH AGAINST THE SIDES OF THE WEATHERING HOUSE MAKING STRANGE NOISES IN THE NIGHT. THERE'S A HIGH VINE-COVERED FENCE AROUND THE PROPERTY. IS IT THERE TO KEEP SOMEBODY OUT, OR IS IT THERE TO KEEP SOMETHING INSIDE? IT'S A HOUSE THAT PEOPLE AVOID WALKING PAST AT NIGHT...STRANGE SOUNDS COME FROM WITHIN ITS WALLS AND IT'S SAID THAT ERRIE LIGHTS HAVE BEEN SEEN BOTH IN THE ATTIC WINDOWS AND IN THE CEMETARY TO THE SIDE OF THE HOUSE. OUR STORY REVOLVES AROUND THIS MYSTERIOUS MANSION.
Nights not long ago, several dogs were walking home from a night-time party. The night was cool as lightning broke through the skies. The wind began to blow and the lightning crashed again. Thunder rolled across the heavens and changed this pleasant evening into a night to be remembered. The lightning struck again and illuminated the front of the old mansion, it began to rain. Balto, Jenna, Steele, Nikki, Kaltag, Star & Dixie ran towards the old house, through the old iron gate and onto the porch for protection. Protection??? If only they had known...
JENNA: Oh Balto, look at that rain come down. We'll never get home on time.
BALTO: Sure we will. It's not quite midnight. <Pauses to study front door> But this old porch isn't going to keep us dry though.
The wolf begins to tug & pull on the stuck doorknob.
STEELE: What are you doing?
BALTO: Trying to get front door open. No one lives here.
STEELE: <Changes mind> Cool! We can wait inside till the storm's over.
JENNA : <Nervous>Are you sure about this? I hear rumors going around Nome that this house is haunted, no one ever lived in this mansion or moved in to rent it after the previous owners passed away.
DIXIE: Wow! A genuine haunted mansion? Awesome.
STAR: Ahh, I got a funny-bad feeling about this.
JENNA: Not me, <Looks scared> I'm not going inside that house. I'd rather stay out here and get wet.
Finally the hero of Alaska pulls open the stuck door.
BALTO: There...c'mon don't be afraid. I'll light a match.
The half wolf steps into the house with the other canines behind him. Finding a book of matches on a table-stand he lit one and holding it above his head peers into the dark. The dogs were standing inside a chilly, dank room called the FOYER. Much of the room is covered in darkly polished wood, and above that flocked Victorian wallpaper rises to meet a tall decorated plaster ceiling. The room is vaguely circular, the only source of light appears to be a large chandelier, flickering as if lit by candles from high above, and a smaller chandelier in the room's connecting antechamber. Otherwise the room is dark.
KALTAG: <Looks around him>Well I'll be...This house is still full of furniture.
NIKKI: It's as though someone still lived here.
DIXIE: But what happened to the origional owners who lived here?
JENNA: No one really knows...<Not amused>
STEELE: There's a candelabrum hero, light some candles. <Indicates a candlestick set>
From somewhere within the depths of the house an unseen person plays a slow, grim funeral dirge on an organ, the notes traveling through the walls of this chamber, echoing in the darkness. The dogs gather around a Victorian fireplace. There are a few coals left in the fireplace, and their glowing embers set the stage for what is to come. Errie purple lights illuminate the coals from where above, the face on the fireplace grate is that of a grusome abstract skull.
BALTO: This place gives me the creeps.
JENNA: Me too dear. Do you have the feeling that something is watching us?
BALTO: I sure do have that feeling.
STEELE: Wooooooweeeee...<Whistles nervously>
Above the fireplace a number of elegant drapery curtains are hung around a large portrait, just directly above the dogs' heads. The portrait is that of a handsome young man in a stately tuxedo, smiling. For he is obviously a man of some importance, the portrait hangs in a rather gilded oval frame.
NIKKI: I wonder who he is? <Gazes at the picture>
STAR: Yeah, maybe he is the owner of this mansion?
DIXIE: It says "Master Gracey 1890 to 1945"
KALTAG: Probably he was born in 1890 and died in 1945. Must have been a rich man until he passed away.
Suddenly, a deep, ominous voice echos through the chamber, but no one can be seen anywhere in the room.
GHOST HOST: GOOD EVENING...
DIXIE: <Startled>W-who said that?
STEELE: I think it came from that statue bust.
JENNA: Guys, let's get out of here!
But as the canines attempt to run back outside the door all by itself swings shut and closes. Now the gang are trapped ALIVE!
BALTO: The door closed! <He runs over to it> I can't get it open. <He tries pulling on the knob again with no luck>
STAR: Aaaaaaaah! <Passes out>
STEELE: Oh good grief. <Mimics Charlie Brown's quote>
NIKKI: He always does that boss.
KALTAG: Looks that way.
Meanwhile the unseen entity continues speaking...
GHOST HOST: WELCOME FOOLISH MORTALS, TO THE HAUNTED MANSION...I AM YOUR HOST, YOUR GHOST HOST...KINDLY STEP THIS WAY...THERE'S NO TURNING BACK NOW...YOU WILL NOT BE HARMED...BUT YOU WILL NOT BE RELEASED UNTIL YOU TAKE A TOUR OF MY HOME...WE HAVE SO FEW VISITORS...LIVE ONES THAT IS...
Suddenly the unseen host bursts into laughing hysteria!
GHOST HOST: HMHMHMHMHMHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!
Slowly the portrait of the man begins to morph. He grays and shrivels with age, turning from a young man to a middle aged man to an old man to a mummified corpse, then finally to a skeleton. Unfortunately none of the dogs notice the changes. The fireplace is flanked on either side by large doors, and suddenly one of the doors silently rolls open as if by unseen hands revealing a large, and better lit, gallery.
GHOST HOST: OUR TOUR BEGINS HERE...IN THIS GHOSTLY GALLERY...
Dixie, Star (Recovered from his fainting spell), Nikki, Kaltag, Steele, Jenna & Balto too frightened to find another way out obeyed their HOST's voice and entered the candle-lit gallery.
---
Stepping through the doorway cautiously, the dogs find themselves in a room with 8 towering walls. 16 gargoyles are perched on a ledge above their heads, each one holding in its hands two candles which barely illuminate the portraits, and each one sneering down at the mortals below with evil grinning faces. Above the ledge hang 4 paintings on a backdrop of striped wallpaper. The ceiling is a plaster relief, recessed in the center. Gazing at the portraits, they seem fairly plain and non-descript. As the canines step into the room the door behind them slid closed, locking them inside.
JENNA: Balto, we shouldn't have come in here. I'm scared.
BALTO: <Puzzled>I don't see a way out.
STEELE: <Also puzzled>There are no doors, not even a window!
GHOST HOST: HERE, IN THE GALLERY...YOU SEE THERE PAINTINGS OF SOME OF OUR RESIDENTS...AS THEY APPEARED IN THEIR CORUPTABLE MORTAL STATE...EVEN IN THIS FLICKERING GLOOM, YOUR PALLOR BETRAYS AN AURA OF FORBODING...YOUR TRUSTING MORTAL EYES TELL YOU THAT THESE WALLS ARE STRECHING...
There is a slight pause, and suddenly, a strange change begins to take place before their eyes. The room began to expand, the paintings slowly revealing themselves to be not quite what they seemed at first glance. Balto, Star, Dixie, Kaltag, Nikki, Jenna & Steele gawk & gasp in wide-eyed terror at the nightmarish scene before them. Yet, as horrifying as this change is, the gang begin to realize another, more troublesome change is about to happen.
GHOST HOST: <Continuing> BUT LOGIC SAYS NO, IT's MERE HALLUCINATION...THEN LOOK ABOVE YOU, EXAMINE EVERYTHING CAREFULLY...YOUR LOGIC CANNOT DENY THAT THIS CHAMBER HAS NO WINDOWS AND NO DOORS...WHICH OFFERS A RATHER LOGICAL CHALLENGE...TO FIND A WAY OUT!...
Once again the unseen host erupted into giggling hysteria thinking he just said something funny to shake up his visitors.
GHOST HOST: HMHMHMHMAHAHAHAHAHA...THERE's ALWAYS MY WAY...
Lightning flashed from above the room illuminating the attic area. There seemed to be no roof! From the rafters a corpse swayed dangling by a taut rope. But this was no ordinary dead-man, this was the corpse of the GHOST HOST HIMSELF! Apparently he had killed himself for reasons unknown...And his body hung from the hidden rafters in the attic above. Balto, Jenna, Star, Dixie, Nikki, Kaltag & Steele with eyes wide open & mouth hanging open in horror stared helplessly upwards at this frightening sight! Then the candles all went out as though by an unseen wind. Suddenly a loud scream of somebody or someone comitting suicide shatters the silence in the room as the unseen victim falls down-down-down until ending with a crashing thud. This caused the dogs to yelp, howl in terror and jump, grabbing onto each other. The candles Balto held went out mysteriously, Jenna clutched his paw during what seemed to be an endless darkness. In a few seconds the candles relit by magic. Looking up again, the gang see no sign of the GHOST HOST's body, the ceiling is back to normal again. At the same time a secret panel on the opposite side of the gallery slid open exposing a dimly lit hallway beyond. It is then the host forgives his guests for scaring them.
GHOST HOST: OHH...I DIDN'T MEAN TO FRIGHTEN YOU PREMATURELY, THE REAL CHILLS COME LATER, HMHMHMHMMM...<He giggles again> NOW, AS THEY SAY, LOOK ALIVE AND WE'LL CONTINUE OUR LITTLE TOUR...AND LET'S ALL STAY TOGETHER PLEASE...
Balto and friends stepped into this very dim hallway, the wolf carrying the candelabrum in his mouth. The chamber they were in is lined with closed doors on both sides, more flickering chandeliers hang high above, their light cast in comforting circles straight down upon the floor. The walls are covered in a flowery wallpaper of Victorian design, the walls paneled in dark polished decorative wood until the wallpaper takes over. The dogs walk farther along, not knowing where they are going or what they will run into next...Suddenly from out of nowhere appears strange-looking vehicles shaped like the Disney OmniMovers! Balto, Steele, Jenna, Dixie, Star, Kaltag & Nikki just stare in suprise & shock at these vehicles as the GHOST HOST explains he has arranged a special transportation for them in case they are tired of walking through his home and want to rest, put up their feet and ride the rest of the way through the mansion.
GHOST HOST: AND NOW, A CARRIAGE APPROACHES...TO TAKE YOU INTO THE BOUNDLESS REALM OF THE SUPERNATURAL...TAKE YOUR LOVED ONES BY THE HAND, PLEASE...OOPS, HMHMHMHMHAHAHAHA, ER, UM, I MEAN PAWS, HAHAHAHAHAHAA...
When he said that, the canines just glare into the darkness, frowns on their faces. None of them found that joke humurous.
GHOST HOST: AND KINDLY WATCH YOUR ST-STE, HEHEHEHEHEHMHMHMHMHM...STEP PLEASE AS YOU BOARD...TAKE YOUR LOVED ONES BY THE PAW PLEASE, HAHAHAHAHA!...
BALTO: Ha! Very funny!
JENNA: Yeah! I didn't find that joke funny.
STAR: What was he laughing about?
DIXIE: I think he meant us.
STEELE: Why that no-good, invisible, Ooooooooooh, Grrrrrrrrr! <Snarls>
NIKKI: How dare he insult our boss.
KALTAG: YEAH! Arrrrrrrrgh! <Also growls> No one makes fun of Big Brother Steele!
Unfortunately the GHOST HOST did not hear that threat. So the dogs prepare to climb into their carriages, called DoomBuggies. The vehicles move in a semicircle around a table & chair in a corner, as if a presence still occupies the visibly vacant seat. A book sits on the table, open to a certain chapter as if a ghost were reading a story and was interrupted by unwelcomed visitors. The buggies come to a perfect stop, safety bars go up as the dogs step into them.
DOOMBUGGY #1 - (Star & Dixie)
DOOMBUGGY #2 - (Balto & Jenna)
DOOMBUGGY #3 - (Steele, Nikki & Kaltag)
Once seated, the vehicles move slowly forwards toward an archway and into an inky darkness on the chamber's far side. Passing under the curtained arch they enter the pitch black room. The GHOST HOST gives a warning or piece of advice to his visitors.
GHOST HOST: DO NOT PULL DOWN ON THE SAFETY BAR PLEASE...I WILL LOWER IT FOR YOU...<The bars click into place> AND HEED THIS WARNING OR SHALL I SAY A PIECE OF ADVICE...THE SPIRITS WILL MATERALIZE ONLY IF YOU REMAIN QUIETLY SEATED AT ALL TIME...
Now the DoomBuggies move through the small, dark, candlelit room. A staircase curves dramatically to their left and meets a balcony above. On the banister they see a number of candles lit in a decorative holder, the only source of light. The carriages pass under the balcony, and perhaps the canines don't notice the candelabrum hovering on this balcony, held high as if by a ghost, wondering who has the nerve or stupidity to enter his house!
---
Now the DoomBuggies turn a corner and the dogs can see windows on the left side revealing a grotesque landscape frequently illuminated by the lightning flashes. On the right side of the corridor are rather sinister looking portraits of family members who lived in this house, long-long-ago. Their eyes glow softly, the the pupils slowly move to follow as if daring the canines to continue onwards.
DIXIE: <Frightened>We should never have come in here, I don't like this.
JENNA: Me too Dix. I hate those pictures, the way the eyes follow us as we pass by.
STEELE: Huh? What! <Shocked> What eyes following us?
JENNA: Those evil eyes from the portraits. Look at the way they move always watching us.
STEELE: Whoa, I see what you mean! <Looks nervous> Uh-oh...
BALTO: Wowsers, totally creepy man. <He too is scared>
STAR: I can't look. <Covers face with paws>
DIXIE: I'm with you Star. <She too covers up>
NIKKI: Ooooooooh...<Shivering> I feel like something is watching me.
KALTAG: Me too brother. Uuuuuuuuuh...<Terror on his face>
Suddenly a loud flapping-whooshing sound passes overhead, accompanied by a scream that startles the dogs who are too suprised to even cry out!
JENNA: What's that?!
DIXIE: A ghost, a bat?!
STAR: Aiiiiiiiiiiie! <He shrieks, then faints> Uuuuuuuuuh.
BALTO: It's OK, it's a crow or raven. <He spots the dark shape of a bird flying off> There it is.
STEELE: A crow or raven? Which one is it?
BALTO: How should I know former bully? <Gives him mean look>
STEELE: Hey-hey-hey, <Mimics Fat Albert> I was only asking.
At that point the GHOST HOST again appologizes for frightening his tourists.
GHOST HOST: DID SOMEONE SCREAM?...AHH, WE DIDN'T MEAN TO FRIGHTEN YOU AGAIN BY MISTAKE...APPARENTLY THE RESTLESS SPIRIT OF AN OLD WITCH HAS TAKEN POSESSION OF THAT POOR WRETCHED CROW'S MORTAL BEING...BE ON YOUR GUARD, IT MAY WANT TO REPOSESS...HMHMHMHMHAHAHAHA...COME ALONG NOW...
Passing under a portrait of a Sea Captain and the wreck of his ship and through another archway, a huge, well-appointed library comes into view. Inside the Mansion's library, volumes of every shape and size cover the walls, each one gathering uncountable years of age. Also set into the walls are 8 marble statue busts, each one lit as if in a museum. But the busts' gaze is disquieting...no matter where in the room the visitors glance or stare, the busts are glaring at THEM! A small pile of books sit on the floor, and a chair rocks itself in a corner quietly as though some unseen person is relaxing, taking it easy "Take The Load Off Your Feet" so to speak. A nearby ladder sways back and forth and books are pulled in and out of the shelves by themselves.
GHOST HOST: OUR LIBRARY IS WELL-STOCKED WITH PRICELESS FIRST EDITIONS...ONLY GHOST STORIES OF COURSE...AND MARBLE BUSTS OF THE GREATEST GHOST WRITERS THE LITERARY WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN...THEY HAVE ALL RETIRED HERE, TO MY HUMBLE HOME...HMHMHMHMHMHMMM...
NIKKI: This is too wierd for me.
KALTAG: Books moving back and forth by themselves? No way!
JENNA: I don't like those busts glaring at us.
DIXIE: Maybe they don't like us.
BALTO: Oh, that's an understatement if I ever heard one.
STEELE: Good grief. <Rolls his eyes>
Star is still unconscious, passed out from his faint beside Dixie in her carriage. Now the buggies pass through an open door and into a music room where the dogs view a cobwebbed piano sitting amid rotting furniture. Although there is no one sitting at the keys, they press up and down, playing dismal discordant music. The piano sits before a picture window that looks onto the backyard of the property with dead trees swaying in the wind, the storm still raging outside, flashes of lightning, rumbling booms of thunder, etc. Light streams in through the window, an un-natural blue. Thunderheads move slowly outside the light streaming in through the dusty air sends long shadows over the floor. Balto, Jenna, Dixie, Star, Steele, Nikki & Kaltag can see the shadow-form of the invisible composer bleeding across the floor, his arms moving to hit the keys. He does not notice the presence of the dogs in the room as they watch him play his haunting melody.
GHOST HOST: THERE ARE SEVERAL PROMINENT GHOSTS WHO HAVE RETIRED HERE FROM CREEPY OLD CRYPTS ALL OVER THE WORLD...ACTUALLY, WE HAVE 999 HAPPY HAUNTS HERE, BUT THERE'S ROOM FOR 1000...ANY VOLUNTEERS, HMMM?...
When none of the canines answer, because they are too paralyzed with terror to speak, he giggles or chuckles.
GHOST HOST: HEHEHEHEHMHMHMHMHM...IF YOU INSIST ON CHANGING YOUR MIND, YOU MAY NOT NEED TO VOLUNTEER...BUT IF YOU DO DECIDE TO JOIN US, FINAL ARRANGEMENTS MAY BE MADE AT THE END OF OUR TOUR...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!...
This causes the dogs to jump in their buggies and then get angry all at the same time!
STEELE: Why you!
BALTO: That was not funny!
JENNA: How dare you try to scare us with that stupid joke!
DIXIE: Yeah you big, unseen bully!
NIKKI: I didn't volunteer to be Ghost #1000.
KALTAG: Or me neither!
STAR: Count me out!
GHOST HOST: I DIDN'T SAY THAT...I ONLY OFFERED YOU A CHOICE OR CHANCE TO JOIN US...BUT IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO, I UNDERSTAND...
BALTO: Oh, you do?!
GHOST HOST: OF COURSE...
STEELE
Boy that's a relief.
GHOST HOST: SUIT YOURSELF, HUSKY SLED-DOG CHAMPION...
STEELE: Say, how did you know I was a sled-dog champion? <Puzzled>
GHOST HOST: I KNOW EVERYTHING AROUND TOWN...WE GHOSTS SEE AND HEAR RUMORS THAT CIRCULATE AROUND NOME FROM TIME TO TIME...
JENNA: How about that? You're famous.
STEELE: Gosh, <Blushes red> I guess I am.
BALTO: <To himself>Lucky dog. <Looks jealous, angry>
GHOST HOST: HOW DO YOU LIKE THE TOUR SO FAR?...
DIXIE: Oh, it's not too bad.
KALTAG: You got one big house here.
GHOST HOST: THANK YOU...ACTUALLY I AM THE OWNER OF THIS MANSION WHEN IT WAS FIRST BUILT IN THE LATE 19TH CENTURY...MY FAMILY AND I LIVED IN THIS HOUSE ALL THE WAY THROUGH THE EARLY DECADES OF THE 20TH CENTURY UNTIL DEATH, EITHER WAR OR DISASTER CLAIMED THE LIVES OF MY GRANDPARENTS, BROTHERS, SISTERS, etc...I WAS THE LAST HEIR OF THIS ESTATE UNTIL I PASSED AWAY BEFORE THE START OF WORLD WAR II...
STAR: Wow, I didn't know that.
NIKKI: Neither did I.
DIXIE: So who owns this house now?
GHOST HOST: NOBODY...NO ONE DARES MOVE IN TO RENT THE PLACE OR BUY IT BECAUSE OF WIERD, STRANGE THINGS HAPPENING INSIDE MY HOME...THUS THE MANSION HAS BEEN DESERTED FOR A VERY LONG TIME...ONLY THE SPIRITS OR GHOSTS OF MY FAMILY MEMBERS AND I CONTINUE TO LIVE OR HAUNT THE WALLS OF OUR HOME FOR ALL ETERNITY, NEVER TO REST IN PEACE...
JENNA: I'm shocked! <Looks suprised>
STEELE: Me too.
BALTO: Holy crap! So that's why this place is haunted. Humans or other dogs are afraid to walk by this place at night or even in the daytime.
A large bronze statue of a griffin comes into view at the other end of the music room, and it is attached to a banister. Atop the banister is an elaborate candleholder, a half dozen candles flickering in it errily. Now the DoomBuggies begin to ascend or climb a creaky wooden staircase to the 2nd Floor. The banister is covered in dust and spiderwebs. The walls to each side slowly fade away to blackness, creating what seems to be an endless black void or errie-lit limbo abound with mist and decay. Everything becomes dark for a few seconds...Then the carriages reach the 2nd Floor Landing. It is then that the dogs are greeted by an appalling cold. This as you know is the traditional manifistation of the supernatural.
GHOST HOST: I HOPE YOU DON'T HAVE AN ADVERSION TO DARKNESS AND COLD...BUT YOU SEE, WE SPIRITS ARE SENSATIVE TO LIGHT...AND EVERY CONSIDERATION HAS BEEN GIVEN TO OUR COMFORT...HERE IN THIS DELIGHTFULLY DREARLLY PLACE...
To the left of the landing, a huge but vacant spiderweb strung up in a corner, it glows brightly in the haze. To the right an even bigger web is strung over the banister, and in its center a tarantula sits sleeping.
STAR: Ahh, gaaaaah, oooooooh...
DIXIE: Spiders! Eeeeeeeeee!
JENNA: Ugh, gross! <Makes sick face> I hate spiders.
BALTO: I hate them too! <Cringes>
The canines move farther along the landing and to the right a colossal web appears, another tarantula sits sleeping in it, too close for comfort to the buggies now.
STEELE: Oh no, here comes another one!
NIKKI & KALTAG: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
STAR: AAAAAAAAAAH!
DIXIE: YIIIIIIIIIIE!
JENNA & BALTO: GAAAAAAAAAAAH! <Grab each other in horror>
STEELE: HEEEEEEEEELP! <Screams>
Quickly the carriages turn another corner, finally passing out of this ghastly supernatural void.
---
We now find Balto, Jenna, Star, Steele, Dixie, Kaltag & Nikki inside a small, dim room. It is filled with poorly-aging furniture of a long ago period, perhaps from the late 19th Century to early 20th Century...and the room is uncomfortably chilly, as if a deathly cold presence fills this room, spying on the canines. Nearby two huge dripping candles perched on long gilded poles do little to illuminate this chamber. This room is but an opening for a passageway, this hallway, which is rather large and accessed by two steps upwards, is a long and dark, dim corridor lined with closed doors on both sides. Flickering chandeliers don't help the murkiness, the hallway streches into oblivion, never ending, growing hazy as it does so. In the center of the hall, a lit candelabrum hovers in midair, dancing about curiously as if it were carried by an invisible ghost.
BALTO: What the heck is that? <Notices floating candlestick>
STEELE: Looks like someone or somebody carrying a candlestick down a long hallway at night, trying to find their way.
BALTO: But, I don't see anybody.
JENNA: Me neither honey...It's moving by itself.
STEELE: That's because ghosts are invisible sometimes, you can't see them but you hear them from time to time. Objects that move about by themselves mean that something is carrying it.
DIXIE: Wow, I didn't know that.
But Jenna dosen't like the situation she, her husband-mate and the others are in at the moment.
JENNA: Where do we go from here?
STAR: <Agrees with her> How do we get out of this horrible place?
BALTO: <Thinks quickly> Hmmm, this seems to be the main corridor. Let's hope it leads to a back staircase and the way out.
STEELE: If there is the way out, hero.
BALTO: I'm positive we can find another escape exit.
NIKKI: I agree with you kemosabi.
KALTAG: As do I! If there's a way in there has to be a way out.
Back inside the chamber the buggies are in a large suit of armor stands on a pedestal, holding a sword & shield. But the armor is frightening to look at...perhaps it is a trick of the light or the dogs' eyes playing tricks on their minds or did it shift its weight slowly?
STAR: Oops, uh-oh did you see that thing move?
JENNA: I did Star! Oh my gosh.
STEELE: Yikes! It did move.
DIXIE: I don't like this boys.
KALTAG & NIKKI: UH-HUUUUUUUH. <Nod in agreement>
BALTO: Great Scott! <Quotes Doc Brown's famous line>
On the other side of the hall, amid dusty, molding, dead potted plants, an overstuffed velvet armchair rocks itself as if its unseen occupant was relaxing himself/herself, leaning back & taking it easy. The design on the chair suggests a grusome-evil clown-face! Behind the chair a doorway has a curtain hung over it, the curtain opening into blackness beyond. Out of this void comes a wind, billowing the curtains outward errily. Suddenly scary-frightening noises emit from the darkness inside! It seems to rush out at the terrified dogs like a tornado or hurricane.
DIXIE & JENNA: LOOK OUT!
STEELE/STAR/NIKKI/KALTAG: AAAAAAAAAAAUGH! <All scream like Charlie Brown>
BALTO: Quick, in this doorway!
As if the carriages heard his voice, they speed under a curtained archway and through an open doorway just in time. Through the dimly lit mist of the upstairs corridor a ghost-like figure ran screaming past Balto, Jenna, Star, Steele, Dixie, Nikki & Kaltag. Footsteps, screams and the sounds of rattling chains chased the figure down the hallway and faded into the darkness.
GHOST HOST: IT'S NICE TO SEE FOLKS ENJOYING THEMSELVES...IN MY HOME, EVERY ROOM HAS WALL TO WALL CREEPS AND HOT & COLD RUNNING CHILLS...<Again he giggles because he said something funny> HMHMHMHMHMHMMM...
The dogs in their DoomBuggies turned their backs on the corridor and looked into the room towards the sound of their host's voice. The candelabrum Balto held again mysteriously dimmed and went out. They sat frozen with fright! They were in the old conservatory, a room cluttered with decaying flowers and plants. The glass is well preserved, but a few panels are cracked or broken, much of the stained-glass colored windows have survived. The windows in the room allowed them to see the outside and there below was the private graveyard. Even though the rain was still falling hard an un-natural fog choked the gravestones. The rain was coming in through the broken windows, the air was dank and had a musty smell...And there, sitting amid the flowers still somehow surviving in the conservatory, rests a large box on a table. The crow flew in and perched atop this box in the middle of the room. The scene appears to be an abandoned funeral service! 2 candles rest on the box, along with a spray.
STAR: <Suddenly hears sounds> What's that noise?
DIXIE: Sounds like somebody or someone in trouble.
GHOSTLY CRIES: LET ME OUT OF HERE! LET ME OUT OF HERE!
BALTO: I'll light the candles. <Relights candelabrum> There.
JENNA: <Gasps, cringes at sight> Aiiiiiiiie! It's a coffin or casket.
GHOSTLY CRIES: LET ME OUT OF HERE!
STEELE: Something's trying to get out.
NIKKI: Whooohoooa! <Mimics Doc Brown's cries>
KALTAG: Huuuuuuuuuh?! <Cringes in horror, eyes wide>
CROW: <Punishes, scolds the visitors> You disturbed a guest, caw-caw! You'll be sorry for that, caw-caw!
GHOSTLY VOICE: <Continues to cry, beg for help>LET ME OUT OF HERE, LET ME OUT OF HERE!
The lid of the coffin is being raised from with by a pair of skeletal hands. Two gruesome green bony hands are wrapped around the corners - never mind the rusty nails still in the lid - and raise it up into the air, while the unseen occupant inside cries for help. Balto, Jenna, Star, Dixie, Nikki, Steele & Kaltag ran screaming in their carriages out of that room and back into the dark hallway. Slowly the buggies continue down the corridor...Hurricane-glass chandeliers hang from above, barely casting light over the walls. The entire hall is wallpapered in a grotesque print of sneering demon faces. The dogs passed several closed doors as they continued towards the far end, suggesting this must be a guest quarters of some sort, and yet from each door they passed, natural and un-natural sounds came from within! Doorknockers clank, doorhandles twist & turn, muffled cries for help emanate from behind each door. Each sounded as though it were trying to get out into the hall! Other doors simply have pleading-begging voices coming from inside, and one is marked as, in a tounge-and-cheek detail, "EXIT!" and yet the voices become slowly more insane and inhuman, degenerating into screaming, moaning, laughing, crying with the last door having a pair of yellowed skeletal hands clasped around it tightly as growling-snarling comes from the other side!
JENNA: Balto, I'm so frightened.
DIXIE: I'm scared.
However the boy-dogs are unable to answer. They are paralyzed and can't seem to move or speak. The GHOST HOST cautions them with a stern warning or piece of advice.
GHOST HOST: WHATEVER YOU DO...DON'T BETRAY YOUR PRESENCE BY SCREAMING...FOLLOW MY VOICE...COME, I SEE YOU HAVE ACTIVE IMAGINATIONS...THAT'S GOOD...
---
The dogs went into another room dimly lit by flickering candles. And there an unusual seance was in session.
GHOST HOST: WE ARE ABOUT TO PARTAKE IN A SEANCE...MADAME LEOTA IS ASSEMBLING ALL SPIRITS...THEY ARE JUST DYING TO MEET YOU...HMHMHMHMHMHAHAHAHAHA...
The DoomBuggies form a closed circle around the room. The room is pitch black, and although there are curtains pulled back to each side, everything else in the chamber appears to float in a black supernatural void. The buggies move around through the chamber. To the center is a rug, on which rests a table and chair. A flickering TIFFANY lamp hangs above the table, the chair has its back turned to the canines and errie chantings can be heard faintly, as Balto & friends assume they emit from the chair. Behind and above the carriages loom floating objects of every description; tables, instruments, etc. They spin & hover in midair awaiting the voice's commands, each one glows strange rainbow colors in the black void. As the carriages move around the room, it is then the dogs discover the chair is EMPTY! Only the crow resides there, cawing and beating his wings. They see a crystal ball sitting amid a flickering candle and scattered tarot cards on a tall stand. Resting inside the ball is the ghoulish disembodied head of Madame Leota, the house's resident medium fortune teller. Her hair is long and white, face a ghoulish yellow-green, and she looks around the room while commanding the spirits to make contact with the real world.
GHOST HOST: PERHAPS MADAME LEOTA CAN ESTABLISH CONTACT...SHE HAS A REMARKABLE HEAD FOR MATERALIZING THE DISEMBODIED...
As Leota calls out to the spirits, the haunted objects come to life and obey her orders at will.
MADAME LEOTA: Serpants and spiders, tail of a rat, call in the spirits wherever they're at! <Moans and screams fill the room> Rap on a table, it's time to respond, send us a message from somewhere beyond! <3 slow knocks from the two tables> Goblins and ghoulies from last Halloween, awaken the spirits with your tamborine! <Hovering tamborine shakes and echos> Creepies and crawlies, toads in a pond, let there be music from regions beyond! <Instruments play in haunted harmony> Wizards and witches, wherever you dwell, give us a hint by ringing a bell! <Bell shakes violently>
Balto, Jenna, Star, Dixie, Steele, Nikki & Kaltag press onwards and they can see far across the chamber where a green glow slides along the walls, leaving a fading trail of green in its wake. A shrouded ghost hovers next to it, arms extended towards the buggies, shimmering.
JENNA: Balto, something's moving there in the corner.
BALTO: <Sees entity>It looks like smoke. Here's another one!
DIXIE: Are those real ghosts, or just fake?
STAR: I dunno...They look like Movie Magic special effect props to me.
STEELE: Be careful of saying that about ghosts or you'll anger them.
STAR: Whoops, uh-oh, hehehehehehe...<Giggles nervously>
KALTAG: I don't like this myself.
NIKKI: Get me out of here brother. <Looks paniced>
GHOST HOST: COME NOW...WE MUST LEAVE THIS COZY LITTLE CIRCLE...FOR THE SPIRITS HAVE RECEIVED YOUR SYMPATHETIC VIBRATIONS...AND ARE BEGINNING TO MATERALIZE...
The buggies begin to ascend a staircase at the far end of the Seance Room up to a hidden balcony. The GHOST HOST then decides to leave but before he does, he explains his absence to his visitors.
GHOST HOST: THEY ARE ASSEMBLING FOR A SWINGING WAKE, AND THEY'LL BE EXPECTING ME...I'LL SEE YOU ALL A LITTLE LATER...
Then he dissapears, leaving the canines to try and find their own way out of his home, ALIVE!
---
The dogs in their DoomBuggies begin to ascend the staircase. It wraps up and around and finally ends up on a long balcony overlooking the Mansion's grand ballroom. A party was taking place, one of the strangest parties you've ever seen. This room is highly upper class Victorian, with decorative wood pillars, wood paneling, flowery vine wallpaper, tile floors, a fireplace at one end of the room, another balcony with staircase on the opposite side of the ballroom, two large front doors, gigantic windows and overstuffed chairs & tables.
The ballroom, which has been vacant, empty for years is unusually active tonight as Balto, Steele, Jenna, Dixie, Nikki, Star & Kaltag are witness to a social gathering of a most unusual order! For the room, in its moldering elegance, has dozens of half-transparent spirits milling around in it. There was a long dining table covered with decayed food and wiltered flowers, spiderwebs hung everywhere. It seemed to be a birthday party! And when a birthday ghost blew out the13 candles on a cake several other ghosts dissapeared. They re-appeared when the ghost inhaled again because the cake was lit with TRICK CANDLES! The fireplace logs are burning down into green flames and a jolly ghost reclines on the mantle, his arm around a marble bust. Nearby there was an elderly lady rocking & knitting. When she rocked forward she dissapeared. When she rocked back she too reappeared.
BALTO: Now I've seen everything.
STEELE: I can't believe my own eyes. Ghosts having a birthday party?
DIXIE: This is totally crazy.
JENNA: Look at the way they vanish, then reappear again like magic.
KALTAG: Awesome lady, awesome.
NIKKI: Wowsers.
STAR: Good grief!
The front doors are open wide, and outside we can see a hearse parked, a coffin spilled out its rear doors and into the ballroom. Out of this box emerge more ghosts wearing various party costumes as they float inside to join the celebration. Above the ceiling wailing wraiths fly in tight circles, arms outstreched errily. Also above the banquet table hangs a magnificent crystal chandelier, containing a number of lit candles. Two spooks sit side by side, arm in arm as they rock back and forth with drunken smiles on their faces and glasses of wine in their hands as they appear to be laughing or joking with each other. Close by them a portly gentleman wearing a top hat is precariously swinging off the edge of the light fixture, his hooked cane the only thing keeping him from falling to the floor below.
STAR: Why are those ghosts playing up there?
DIXIE: They should not be up there, they can get hurt.
STEELE: That's because they are already dead. <Glowers>
STAR & DIXIE: OOOH, WE DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
STEELE: Oh bother! <Sounds like Winnie The Pooh>
JENNA: Heads up boys, there's more to come!
BALTO: Yeah, I think she's right.
NIKKI: Duh?
KALTAG: M-wha? <Both look suprised, arched eyebrows>
Above the balcony two paintings are hung. They are of two gentlemen, each facing away from one another and holding a gun. Suddenly their spirits emerge from the paintings, turn to face each other and fire their weapons! Then dissapear as quickly as they appeared like magic. This shocks the dogs who gasp & flinch.
STEELE: Holy! Did you see that?
BALTO: Yes I did. Ghosts shot at each other.
STAR: Why would they do that?
NIKKI: Maybe they were reenacting a gentleman's duel. Fighting over a lady, just like in the old times.
JENNA: Oh really? <Eyes arch> Oh my!
DIXIE: I got a bad feeling about this.
KALTAG: As do I sister.
Below the paintings 6 ghoulish couples twirl and waltz in circles very fast, sweeping through the tables & chairs without touching them. And at the end of the room a lone organ, with tall pipes rests against the wall. Macabre music is echoing through the chamber, the music is frantic and jerky as a organist sits at the keys, playing them madly. Above him an arching river of silently screaming faces rise out of the pipes and disintigrate into midair upon reaching their peak.
JENNA: This is crazy! I don't believe what I see.
DIXIE: Why did we ever come into this house?
STEELE: Don't ask me...wasn't my idea.
KALTAG: Any chance of finding the exit soon?
NIKKI: Yo Balto!
BALTO: What?
NIKKI: Can you find us the escape route from this mansion?
STAR: Yeah hero? Can you?
BALTO: No problem, OK. <Looks around> Here's another door at the other end of the balcony. Come on!
---
Now the buggies turn away from the ballroom and pass through the door into a dusty unfinished attic. It is filled with everything imaginable...from clothes, toys, mirrors, instruments, rugs, etc. A terrifying slow heartbeat resounds somewhere in the room. Throughout the attic in various places hideous corpses or boogymen jump out of the bric-a-brac strewn about, each one calling out...
BOOGYMEN: I DO, I DO, I DO!
Stunned by these screaming monsters, the canines hardly dare to breathe or move, paralyzed with terror! Against one wall rests a broken-down piano which is being played by a shadowy figure of a specter in a top hat and cape pounding out the somber version of the WEDDING MARCH. And there, standing against the back wall of the attic is the figure of the ghastly, long dead bride. She was strangly illuminated and her heart glowed red with each heartbeat! Her hair is grown long and wild-white, her flesh a cold blue hue. In one hand she holds a long-burning candle, in the other a boquet of flowers. Her eyes glow yellow, her face has white streaks down her cheeks as if raw from decades of crying. Her mouth is twisted up into a hopeful smile that someday her Prince Charming will return. Her veil billows about in a supernatural wind!
DIXIE: We're trapped!
JENNA: There's no way out!
BALTO: Honey, hold the candles. I'll try to open this window.
The half wolf hero climbs out of his carriage and walks to a dormer window where he begins to pull & tug on the sill in an attempt to open it. But he is having some difficulties in doing so.
STEELE: Yo hero, need a helping paw?
BALTO: Thanks, I could use some.
STEELE: Well why didn't you say so?
Together the husky bully and wolf hero wrestle with the stuck window with the other dogs watching and waiting with hope written all over their faces. Finally the two suceed in opening up the window and peering out into a clear-night sky. The storm has ended, the rain stopped falling. Stars & full moon twinkle outside. Turning back around they both shout with excitement.
STEELE: Hey! Come on, we're in luck.
BALTO: There's a balcony out here!
KALTAG: You mean you found the exit?
STEELE: Ta-dah. <Gestures proudly, grins>
NIKKI: Alright boss! Way to go.
STAR: Yiiiipeeeee! <Cheers>
DIXIE: Horray! We found the exit.
JENNA: Yes, YES! <Looks excited and happy>
Climbing back into the carriages, Balto joins Jenna as Steele rejoins his brothers and the DoomBuggies roll out through the open dormer window and onto the ledge of the mansion's roof outside.
STEELE: Watch your step, the rain made everything slippery.
DIXIE: Uh, the candles went out again.
BALTO: Just leave them we're outside now. Everything's going to be OK.
STEELE: Here's some steps down at the far end! <Points to a fire escape heading down to the ground>
JENNA: <Dosen't like what she sees> But they lead to the cemetary! Do we have to go in there?
STAR: It looks like we have no choice.
NIKKI: Well we can't go back inside there. <Nods towards mansion behind him> Otherwise we'll be trapped again.
KALTAG: That's something I don't wanna risk.
BALTO: Come on it's the only way home.
STEELE: Follow the wolf. He will guide us, escort us to safety.
JENNA: I thought you wanted to be the leader Steele.
STEELE: Not anymore...I changed my mind. Balto should lead this time.
BALTO: Thanks, blood-brother. <Smirks>
STEELE: You're welcome kemosabi. <Grins back>
NIKKI/KALTAG: <Laugh> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!
STAR & DIXIE: HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!
BALTO: Then let's get going gang. The sooner we find the exit, the better we'll be out of here.
JENNA: After you, my hero. <Smiles and winks at him>
So our adventurous friends descended the steps to the ground level and began their ride through the private burial grounds trying to find their way out of this living nightmare.
---
The canines passed an old caretaker holding a lantren, standing in front of the main entrance into the cemetary. He was too frightened to speak or move. His dog was whimpering at his feet. Suddenly there was music all around them and the sky was filled with flying spirits!
GRIM GRINNING GHOSTS SONG:
(Sang by the barbershop quartet stone busts)
WHEN THE CRYPTDOORS CREAK AND THE TOMBSTONES QUAKE.
SPOOKS COME OUT FOR A SWINGING WAKE.
HAPPY HAUNTS MATERALIZE, AND BEGIN TO VOCALIZE.
GRIM GRINNING GHOSTS COME OUT TO SOCIALIZE!
NOW DON'T CLOSE YOUR EYES AND DON'T TRY TO HIDE.
OR A SILLY SPOOK MAY SIT BY YOUR SIDE.
SHROUDED IN A DAFT DISQUISE, THEY PRETEND TO TERRORIZE.
GRIM GRINNING GHOSTS COME OUT TO SOCIALIZE!
AS THE MOON CLIMBS HIGH OVER A DEAD OAK TREE.
SPOOKS ARRIVE FOR THE MIDNIGHT SPREE.
CREEPY CREEPS WITH ERRIE EYES, START TO SHRIEK AND HARMONIZE.
GRIM GRINNING GHOSTS COME OUT TO SOCIALIZE!
WHEN YOU HEAR THE NELL OF A FUNERAL BELL.
WIERD GLOWS GLEAM WHERE SPIRITS DWELL.
RESTLESS BONES ETHERALIZE, RISES SPOOKS OF EVERY SIZE.
(Evil laughter) MMMMMMM-BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!
Balto, Steele, Jenna, Nikki, Star, Kaltag & Dixie passed a group of musicians who paid no attention to their presence. One was playing a bagpipe, another a harp and another a trumpet. There was a hunchback playing a flute and a drummer pounding out the tempo on a gravestone. There was a king and queen balancing a teeter-totter on a gravestone and a princess sipping a cup of tea swinging in a swing pushed by the prince. They saw a hearse stuck in the mud, the coachman and duchess having a tea party together with an english couple all talking, laughing and singing along to the music. The coffin had slipped out and its contents a shrouded corpse also was sipping a cup of tea. Behind the hearse on a hill a group of ghosts were enjoying a bicycle ride through the tombstones. 4 stone busts singing in a barbershop quartet version of GRIM GRINNING GHOSTS, 2 spirits wearing opera theater costumes joining in with the melody and a huge masked executioner singing a duet with a decapitated knight and prisoner, the knight holding his singing head in his extended hand!
STEELE: There's that crow again. <He spots the black bird>
STAR: Now why is it bothering us again?
NIKKI: What does it want with us?
KALTAG: Now that is something I would like to know too.
At the same time, 3 figures stood to one side of the path. Their hands outstreched, fingers extended in the hitch-hiking pose as though expecting a free ride from the dogs. The crow calls out a warning to his friends.
CROW: Caw-caw! Beware my friends, caw-caw! They may try to follow you home. Caw-caw-caw! <Then it flies away again>
Suddenly the voice of the GHOST HOST comes back from nowhere, startling his visitors!
GHOST HOST: AHH, THERE YOU ARE...AND JUST IN TIME...THERE'S A LITTLE MATTER I FORGOT TO MENTION...BEWARE OF HITCH-HIKING GHOSTS...HMHMHMHAHAHAHA...
JENNA: Oh very funny! Ha-ha-ha.
GHOST HOST: COME ON MY DEAR...WHERE's YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR?...
JENNA: I don't have one right now, thank you.
BALTO: Yeah! Stop insulting my wife.
GHOST HOST: GREAT SCOTT!...<Reacts with suprise> I DID NOT KNOW SHE WAS YOUR WIFE...YOU MUST BE HER HUSBAND?...
BALTO: Correct. We are married.
GHOST HOST: IN THAT CASE, CONGRATULATIONS TO BOTH OF YOU...
JENNA: Well thank you.
GHOST HOST: YOU'RE WELCOME...
STEELE: What's this about hitch-hiking ghosts?
GHOST HOST: <Explains> THEY HAVE SELECTED YOU TO FILL OUR QUOTA...AND THEY WILL HAUNT YOU UNTIL YOU RETURN, THAT IS IF YOU DECIDE TO RETURN OR NOT...
STAR: Gaaaaaaaah! Not me.
DIXIE: Yoiks! Me neither!
GHOST HOST: SUIT YOURSELF...IT's YOUR DESTINY...
DIXIE & STAR: UH-OH...HOLY!!!!
NIKKI: I don't like this tour anymore than when it first started.
KALTAG: Well at least it's almost over.
GHOST HOST: OF COURSE...I BELIEVE THE EXIT IS STRAIGHT AHEAD...YOU CAN'T MISS IT...BON VOYAGE, ASTA-LA-VISTA, BABY...HMHMHMHMHMHMHMMM...
BALTO: Oh good grief.
STEELE: Me too brother.
JENNA: Oh bother! <She too mimics Winnie The Pooh>
The carriages continue down the pathway through the cemetary on their way out of the property. At this moment the 3 hitch-hiking ghosts dissapear or vanish into thin air before the startled eyes of the dogs!
DIXIE: Balto? Are you sure we're going the right way?
BALTO: I think so. There's only one path. <Then he spots something> Looks like there's something up ahead.
JENNA: <Recognizes it>That's the crypt!
STAR: <Shocked> The what?!
JENNA: A final resting place or vault where you are put away to finally REST IN PEACE after you died or passed away. That's the one by the fence it's the way out.
STEELE: Then it's the exit at last!
NIKKI: Yaaaaaaay!
KALTAG: Yaaaaaaaay!
DIXIE: Alright! The escape route has been found.
STAR: Yeeeeehaaaaaw!
BALTO: Come on! Stay close and don't look back.
STEELE: In other words, don't stop for nothing!
With that the DoomBuggies race forwards into the crypt-vault as the doors swing open to admit them inside. The vehicles dissapear down the stone steps into blackness beyond and the door closes behind them. It is then the GHOST HOST again speaks to them while the gang search for another doorway leading out of the crypt.
GHOST HOST: DID YOU ENJOY YOUR VISIT?...<Sound of funeral bell tolling the hours> I TOLD YOU YOU WOULD NOT BE HARMED...THANK YOU FOR SPENDING SOME TIME WITH US...COME AGAIN...BRING YOUR FRIENDS, IF THEY BELIEVE THIS STORY YOU TELL...I HAVE TO GO NOW, IT IS MIDNIGHT...PLEASANT DREAMS...
Then once more he bursts into giggles, then into uncontrollable laughter that rings around the frightened, nervous canines.
GHOST HOST: HMHMHMHM...HMHMHMHMHMHM...HMHMHMHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!...
Seconds later the carriages climb another stone stairway going out of the crypt and back into the real world again. On the way out the gang pass by a miniature woman about the size of a Midget Wrestler standing to one side of the stairs. It is Little Leota, the daughter of Madame Leota and she is saying goodbye to them.
LITTLE LEOTA: Hurry back, hurry back. Be sure to bring your death certificate if you decide to join us. Make final arrangements now. We've been dying, ahem...to have you, hmhmhmhmhmhmhmmm...<Then she dissapears>
At last the DoomBuggies emerge through the vault doors and pass through the iron gate's back entrance. Slowing to a stop the carriages safety bars go up and the dogs climb out. As they do, the vehicles vanish into oblivion! Balto, Star, Jenna, Dixie, Steele, Nikki & Kaltag don't bother to look back at the house...THEY RUN SCREAMING!
ALL THE DOGS: <Scream at the same time> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH! <All sounding like Charlie Brown>
And they don't stop running until the mansion is far out of sight and behind them forever and still they keep running until making it safely back to HOME SWEET HOME.
THE END